The Horrible Doctor Why



“Why” is the only question one can ask that is sure to be stupid. “Why” is an excuse after the fact. “Why” is a search for meaning amidst absurdity. “Why” tries to pinpoint intentions.”Why” tries to find reason. Sadly, human beings can only play at being reasonable. Our best efforts, in our best court systems, are tainted with human irrationality. And they are overbooked with cases resulting from irrational, unreasonable human actions.

Let’s take you for example. Why you?

You see, there are too many answers. Because you were in the wrong place at the right time? Because you’re a victim? Because you weren’t paying attention? Revenge? Sadism? Fate? The will of God? All good answers but to what end? Because – well, why not you?

Anyone can be abducted. Even you, you smirking jackal.

Why did you smirk when you looked at me in the outside world? Why? I won’t offer you multiple choices prompting an answer. Oh no. If you can’t or won’t answer my simple question by yourself I can and will pull the lever on the left. It’s a slow and grotesque result.

Why did I abduct you? Because I know you can’t answer my question and that means I get to pull the lever on the left. I love pulling the lever on the left.

Why do you struggle when you know you’re securely tied down? That is a sign of stupidity. You should be negotiating. When I deem you stupid I pull the lever on the right. The results are fast and sickening.

Why should I tell you what happens? Aren’t you scared enough yet? Now are you stupid or are you just behaving stupidly? Is there a scientifically verifiable difference between the two?

I know what you really want to know.

Why do I look so old when I’m only 32? So you do know who I am. Or you think you do! Just call me Doctor Why.

Because why should I tell you?

Why do you think I would? You smirked at me. More than once. Don’t get sympathetic or empathetic or more pathetic!

Why not be quiet and let me decide which lever I’m going to pull, you smirking jackal?

You don’t recall smirking at me? Really? Insulting and degrading strangers is such everyday fare for you that you casually diminish passersby without relish? There are so many of us that we quickly fade into the cloud of undesirables once pierced?

Apologizing now does no good. Don’t insult me yet again. You are helpless and you are about to die after experiencing excruciating levels of pain. You’d say anything to avoid this.

I’m fucking with you. You never degraded me. You’ve never seen me before. I’m just a sick fuck who wants to fuck you up. Have you ever watched anyone die? It’s rather magical. That very last moment before light drains away is like the breathless instant  that you know you’re about to come and nothing will stop it. Like the involuntary convulsion of throwing up, the energy spills out whether you want it to or not. In that moment you stop caring, and it doesn’t matter who’s watching or what else is happening. You just spill it all out. And then it’s over.

God fearing? That’s laughable. How can you wonder why God would let this happen to you? Look what God let happen to Jesus!

Of course you aren’t the first. Look at this elaborate laboratory of doom! I have turned serial killing into a one-man industry. From the capture to disposal of the remains, nothing is left to chance. By the time I’m finished no one man will have killed more individuals than me unless a bomb was used.

What do you mean how do I get away with it?  The last thing authorities are concerned with are missing persons. Especially ones like you. The idiots are already haplessly coping with rapes, robberies, homicides, suicides, domestic battles and everything else. What’s a missing person amidst all that? Do you realize that eight million children go missing around the world every year?

In fact, the very first European baby born in America disappeared. Her name was Virginia Dare. So you see, you’re following in an old American tradition.

Now close your eyes. This is going to hurt…