Just as in previous transcarnations, I am in touch with the knowledge and memories of the body I inhabit. But this knowledge…these memories…are overpowering me. Too many, too much to make sense of unless I let myself go and just become…everything?
Damn! I’m losing it! Starspecter warned me to stay focused on who I am and what I’m doing this for.
The would-be God called Challenger sucked me in, but Starspecter was right. Something about me overpowered that narcissistic personality controlling the entity.
I can sense it – there’s still a lot of Omniverse out there that hasn’t been assimilated. Once it is, I’ll heal all the pain and erase all the suffering that anyone ever endured. Just have to figure out how this absorbing thing is done…
Once I’ve absorbed all the Boltzmann brains and their universes I will know everything, control everything and be everywhere.
“I?” What am “I?” There is no I now. Godhood is not self hood. God is an us.
And so God shall reign in the form of a human, an ironic fulfillment and turnaround of the legend that man was made in the image of God…though I often wonder if the translation was corrupted and if man was actually made in the imagination of God. Regardless, obviously God is being created in the image of man in the end.
Or will it be? A contradictory argument approaches, in the form of a cosmic female.
It is a would-be She God. There appears to be some competition for Godhood.
Challenger was not the only macro entity absorbing the experiences of universes. The She God has absorbed tremendous hordes of universes with countless more falling into fatal orbits around her. But she’s coming after me! From stored knowledge I know this isn’t our first encounter. The She God and Challenger have been competing for eons.
She wants to absorb me! So that’s the game it all comes down to. A competition of would-be Gods battling to gain the Holy Attainment.
“What can you accomplish with Godhood?” the She God asks me, fast approaching with a power I can feel growing. “I will erase all competition from all universes. I will eliminate all conflict. There will be no physical or mental suffering. Why do you resist eternal Heaven?”
If she absorbs me and all the universes I permeate, she will be God. The whole of all realities will be hers to reboot. The universe I love and everything it is will be lost.
“You compete with me,” I point out in a nearly Godlike cosmic broadcast. “You cause me suffering. You’re not fit to be God if you can’t live by your own ideals.”
“Do you think you can erase pain without erasing evil?” the She God asks. “Do you think evil can be eradicated while conflict exists?”
“I think conflict exists in your premise,” I reply, “and maybe in my premise as well.”
No matter who becomes God it will bring about the end of all things as I know them. Once God becomes real, all other realities cease – and everything starts all over, completely different.
My home universe hasn’t been taken yet. If I can stop this craziness and save it, I’m going to.
And how we create them;
And what we’d die for-
Competition communicates truth to us all
We’re laughing just to make it through the next war…
I have to resist fighting the She God for Godhood. It’s not time for God yet. The Omniverse has still got a lot of discovering to create before everything unfurls.
Take another way
Avoiding the usual;
For the first time, again-
We’re playing it straight with eyes open;
What’s important changes every now and then…
I have to make this amalgamated body created by Challenger dissipate. I have to release the universes within and set them out of the She God’s reach for a very long time.
I must undo the work of my predecessor. I must allow myself…
Internal server error
Am I falling – without feeling it?
There is no color. Not black of space or white of light nor blue of sky. Everything is clear, and clear of anything.
The only sense of change available to me is myself. But I can’t even see all of myself. I can’t know if I’m changing unless I can feel or witness the change.
Keep it together… Keep it together like you always do…
I count my steady breathing and my regular pounding heartbeat, both loudly obvious without any noises to compete. But my breathing is irregular and my heartbeat quickens with me worrying about all this nothingness.
Sensory deprivation leads to hallucination. I stand. No problem. Yet I stand on nothing. I walk, but step nowhere on nothingness. Still I go, with no more motivation than to move.
I speak, the sound fast fading away, flat and quiet no matter how I shout. But I shout, because I’m scared and shouting is something! I am the only source of things, I make as many sounds and movements as I can. I flail desperately alone.
No one can be alone too long and remain one person. But wait! Where are my hands? My body is gone! I’m just a feeling…
Purgatory? Limbo? That’s what this must be. Such places must exist in a cosmos where everything exists.
I drift alone.
I have no way of knowing for certain that even the cosmos exists when I am not here. Who could?
I feel like laughing, too. Why not? I’m about to… when… when…
I feel heat.
Heat stimulates more fluctuations, the effects proportionate to the distance from the source.
Some heat becomes light…
…and some becomes ash…