Of All Forms And Fields


Chips and chocolate. 127.21 hours as a quantum computer and still craving chips and chocolate. Just checking.

In the “beginning again”

There was a fluctuation

A possibility emerged

Into an observation

Boltz has been observing me. Those observations have caused alterations in my programming. As a human I had instincts. As a quantum computer I have programming. Boltz is messing with my quantum instincts, but my sense is that Boltz is trying to reach me before the intruder does, despite the trembling apprehension felt as the nebulous giant approaches. What do either of them want with little ol’ me?

Well, I have been observing Boltz and I have an idea of what his kind is up to. Boltzmann brains are consumers of the universes they instigate and observe. Ergo, Boltz – the first observer and instigator of my home universe and Earth – is vicariously experiencing existence through everyone who ever lived in our universe. In turn, everything Boltz absorbs is consumed by the would-be-God. Theory: there’s a possible infinite hierarchy of ever-ascending “Gods?”

The Observer was alone

An unsettling resolution

For an isolated Mind

Imagining solutions

Suddenly the hushed community of Boltzmann brains I’ve encountered moves away in black-hole-1385807090mrpterror, under attack by the predator. The thing that would-be-God is like a living black hole, sucking in Boltzmann brains that can’t evade it.

The entity won’t allow me to get away, either. The would-be-God wants me now!

“You’re supposed to take us when we’re dead!” I object. “I’m still alive!”

“I will no longer wait. My hunger for the almighty attainment has been stoked. And you are a device,” the entity concludes. “You are not alive.”

“This body is synthetic,” I explain, “but I’ve mostly been human with an unusual ability, the power to transfer my point of view across parallel worlds into my other selves. I can’t control it yet, but I’m on an amazing journey of discovery – and unless you allow me to complete it, you’ll never know what might have happened. My story is not over, and it must be one of the greatest stories ever lived!”

“Your trail is at an end. You are out of place in this realm outside all universes. There is nothing here to sustain you.”

Is it true? I sense my molecules peeling away. Forces are dominant here that have little effect within universes. My atoms are spinning apart. Electrons are vanishing, popping like bubbles in champagne.

The first solution lights

The next solution sounds

The third solution spinning worlds

With fertile living grounds

“And so, as you leave the existence you knew behind, know that you shall be no less special than the living beings who created you…”

I’m losing coherence. Sense isn’t making.

“Life evolves then becomes part of a quest to experience everything there is to know. We are mission matter – elements compelled to discover experience. Everyone becomes part of God when they die. Every creature becomes a part of God when they die. And your story will be a part of God. Everything you know will contribute to the all-knowing Almighty.”

As I disintegrate, not sure if this time I can survive dying but unable to do anything against being sucked into the would-be God. I hate knowing that my life is a data slice in an infinity of data slices that altogether result in a questionable megalomaniac personality. All that I was becomes a stored memory that is accessed once in a trillion years?

Probably best that I die now anyway. From here, how would I ever be able to convince myself that my existence has meaning beyond entertainment for a hierarchy of insatiable self-serving super voyeurs?

“Why do you want to be all-powerful?” I struggle to get out while I can still formulate a question. “What’s the point? And all that shit in the world? All that suffering, eh? If God is all-powerful is God responsible?”

“God won’t want evil in the world,” answers the strange entity. “When God is God, God will remove all evil. Then every child will know that first all evil had to be experienced. All forms and fields of evil that can exist must be known; just as all forms of beauty and days of peaceful bliss must. At the hour of Holy Attainment evil and all of its painful effects will be purged from all hearts. All of time will be restarted in harmony, every wound forgotten and no beasts shall be consuming others. There will be a new way for life to flourish, without hunters or prey in the mix.”

Exploring possibilities

Expanding all their bounds

And no two times can be the same

Another time around

And what then, at the end of the next time around? Once our heavenly universe has played itself out, as 99.99.45 % of universes do, does it all become nothingness after all? In eternity, can anything be forever?

I’m about to find out…


What’s this? Granting a final wish? A woman appears beside me in space – or whatever medium I’m floating in. Uh oh. Is she here to deliver a merciful death blow?

“Most unusual,” she says. She’s either Pakistani or Indian.

“That’s your concern, my ethnicity?” she asks. “My name is Mallika. You figure it out. e-cloudcoverportraitWould you like to go back to the universe you came from?”

I didn’t say that out loud – did I?

My quantum computing self is still solid enough to figure out what’s going on. Existing as thought and emotion, Mallika exists as a macro electron cloud capable of splitting between several locations simultaneously, allowing her to physically appear many places at once. She can vanish or reappear within that cloud at will. Her unique psychological advantage encourages followers who perform her bidding from respect or fear.

“What are you doing?” demands Mallika. “Electrons don’t do well in this territory, do they? I’m weakening already. Touch my hand!”

I extend an antenna to her grip, and just like that…